The Bullhorn Prank
by Kitty Cat Edward
Summary: Roy gets on Edwards last nerve about him being short, so Ed decides to pull a prank on the bastard Colonel. Paybacks are bitches Colonel. Parental RoyxEd Non-Yaoi. Rated T for cursing


**Hi guys! This is going to be a short fanfic about Roy and Ed :D You'll see what I do. .. :3 -Evil Laugh-**

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It was mid-day, the small Alchemist Edward Elric stormed out of the Colonel's office. Very pissed off about the Colonel's constant name-calling of him being short. "Damn that asshole! Next time I hear the word short from his mouth, I'll clobber him!" Edward shouted to his younger brother Alphonse. "Calm down, brother. You're kind of making a scene." Alphonse said, referring to the other Alchemists making quick gazes before turning completely away. "I don't give a damn! He loves to irritate me!"

"Brother, even if you could beat up the Colonel, Liutenany Hawkeye will put a bullet through your head." Alphonse said, doing his usual freaked-out face on his armor hat. Edward cursed under his breath, and started to think. After a while, Edward finally had an idea. "I got it! I'm going to go pull a prank on him! He said, having a cocky look on his face. Alphonse looked at him, seeming it's not a good idea. "What kind of prank?"

Edward looked around, he saw a utility closet, Edward quickly went in it, then came out. There was something in his hand, it was a small bullhorn. (A/N: Nontheless, why it was in there.. XD)) Edward had a very mischievous look on his face. "Uh, brother, is that a bullhorn?" Alphonse ask, clearly not amused about what Edward was going to do. "Yeah. Heheh, follow me Al." Edward said, walking ahead back to the Colonel's office.

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As they walked back to the Colonel's office, Edward toke out his silver pocket watch to check the time. "Perfect, the Colonel and Hawkeye just went to lunch together. Now's our chance." Ed whispered, going in first, then to be followed in by Alphonse.

Edward grinned and went over to the desk, he pulled the chair, then went under the desk, he noticed there was a small space at the side drawers, he pulled out the first drawer and layed it in his lap, he used Alchemy to attach the bullhorn to the end of the drawer, he tied a string arround the lever to activate the noise of the bullhorn. It was very tight around the lever, very close into making noise. The string was almost invisable, he tied the other end around the handle of the middle side drawer.

"Ed! I hear Hawkeye and the Colonel! We need to leave." Alphonse protested, Edward reacted and hit his head under the desk, he muttered curses, shooting up from behind the desk, putting the chair back into place and making a dash for the door. Soon leaving the office with Alphonse.

The Colonel and Hawkeye came around the corner, entering the office as usual, Roy heading to his desk and he sat down in it. Riza standing beside the desk, keeping watch. "Colonel, you have to finish your paper work." Riza reminded him, knowing how much Roy hated paper work. He gave an exasperated sigh, "Yeah Yeah."

He searched through scattered papers on the desk for a pen, normally there would be one that would be never used. "Hm, strange, I had a pen on the desk before I left.." He said to himself, giving up on searching, then decided to open the middle drawer on hopes for a pen

BOOM. A ear-bleeding sound made Roy fall backwards in his chair, heart pounding through his chest. He clutched his uniform. "What in the hell!? Is that a bullhorn!?" He shouted, the noise kind of blocking him out as it was still going on. "Hawkeye, get rid of it! It's behind the drawer!" He commanded, now gripping his head due to the pain he inflicted when his head hit the floor.

Hawkeye didn't seem to be scared at all, she went over to the other side of the desk, pulled out the first drawer, seeing the bullhorn on the end. Of how it was Alchemicly attached, since it would be loud and hard to remove, she opened a window and threw it out. The sound soon dimmed.

Riza sighed, "Sir, it seemed it was Alchemically attached to the drawer." She said calmly, helping Mustang up. "It must've been Edward." She said again. Roy was furious, "I'll kill him!" He yelled, expressing furiouscous anger.

Outside the office, Edward was literally on the ground, laughing his ass off, "Haha! That went better than I thought! Serves him right!" He said to Alphonse, wiping a tear away from his eye. Alphonse helmat-palmed, "I'll go apologize to the Colonel later.." He murmured, dragging Edward away from the scene.

_And that's how he got his revenge._

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**Oh my god. This went well! XD Roy you're awesome and hot- what who said that? You deserved it. X'D**


End file.
